Better Than Dead

18 Jan
My new favorite search that got someone to my website: “my father planted a garden.”

18 Jan
With my bad knees I often catch glimpses of myself in windows walking like a zombie. *sigh* At least I don’t hold my arms out and go, “Urrrr.”

25 Jan 
Mom busted out of rehab Tuesday morning, January 22. We’ve been on the lamb since—except for the time spent sleeping in our own beds and loving it.

28 Jan 
A really good day followed by a really bad morning and the necessity of having to leave her alone to come to work. Life doesn’t fuck around.

I know very well she’s fragile, but hearing a medical professional describe her that way makes it more real.

29 Jan 
I do not recommend sleeping in a recliner overnight unless you’re deathly ill and half-unconscious. I got out of the chair, but all day long my body was saying, “No, you didn’t.”

4 Feb  
With Mom in the ER around 4:30 a.m. with breathing difficulties, but we were back home again by 9:30. Probably dialysis related issues. Dialysis this afternoon should take care of it.

6 Feb 
Praise my neighbor! He’s agreed to take Mom to dialysis Mondays and Wednesdays, saving me leaving work midday to drive a 50 mile loop. Hallowed be his name!

7 Feb
Remember that scene from the remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers where the guy falls asleep next to his dog? http://huff.to/Y8NWsh 

7 Feb
Back in the ER with Mom (more breathing difficulties). And home again four hours later. Consensus: Mom needs oxygen at home. Tomorrow I will check with her primary care doctor about ordering some.

7 Feb
So they delivered the pre-assembled folding wheelchair in a box that looked like it contained a large screen TV. I pushed it up against the small garage door to get it out of the way of the front steps so I could get Mom in the house after dialysis. Between then and when I came back out some a**wipe came along and opened the box to see if it was worth stealing (I guess). Apparently, it wasn’t. The brazenness: only six feet from the front door.

12 Feb

I’ve released a breath I didn’t know I was holding: Mom’s oxygen has arrived.

13 Feb

Prius in front of me: “I am a green car. Are you?” Me: “You are an asshat. Any more questions?”

They’re everywhere here in LA. I always think of that South Park episode and picture the drivers holding wine glasses to their behinds.

13 Feb

I’m smart, but sometimes I haven’t got the sense of an addlepated cow.

13 Feb

9 p.m. and I finally get to sit down for the night. Bed soon. What a party girl.

14 Feb

Children’s author Terry Deary wants to close all libraries (and not ironically): http://bit.ly/12LPQpK  You, sir, are a privileged douche.

I wouldn’t have had any books to read as a child if it wasn’t for libraries. My parents didn’t have the money for them. Besides, libraries also do movies and CD lending, also part of the “entertainment industry” Mr. Deary feels is being negatively impacted by “free books.”

27 Dec
The guy in the Cadillac Escalade whose license plate included “ASAP” driving at least 10 mph under the speed limit.

30 Dec
I have strep throat. The doc said “I worked in the ER and nothing phases me but THAT’S impressive.” God knows how long I’ve had it.

31 Dec
I’ve been sick as a dog for days but tonight I feel like I may have regained my humanity. Happy new year everyone.

1 Jan
No fever this morning for the first time since Friday. I think I may survive. 

 May you all enjoy a happy and fever free 2013.

1 Jan
Having watched all the Rose Parade I can stand (10 minutes), I will turn my attention elsewhere.

2 Jan
People are the foulest species. I don’t usually watch Animal Cops because I can’t stand the cruelty, stupidity and culpability of some people, but it happened to be on when I turned the TV on and I became transfixed by a story of three horses. Happy endings for two of them, no word on what kind of ending the third experienced. I want to believe the number of good people balances out the bad, but there are days I have my doubts.

2 Jan
In other news, I still feel like crud.

2 Jan
Watching a Dr. Oz diet show while eating KFC: another fine irony.

3 Jan
Profound: doing an oracle reading re: Mom and having her interrupt it with a phone call. If I was a writer I might make something of that.

4 Jan
I felt mostly human today but still tire way too easily.

6 Jan
Who likes mimes except other mimes?

7 Jan
I think “don’t describe eye color” is one of the more bogus writing rules. Someone with a personality disorder must have made that one up. I always notice eye color in Real Life. It’s pertinent in description; eyes are the windows to the soul, etc. Having said all this, I do believe amateurs way the hell overuse eye color as a descriptor, as if it’s the only thing important about a face. It’s one more piece of the puzzle, that’s all, and perhaps that rule was generated by someone’s frustration over too many “he had brown hair and blue eyes” 
flat and lifeless descriptions. More important perhaps to note the pitted quality of his nose, how light never touches those blue eyes.

7 Jan
They’re talking about springing Ma soon from the Big House. She’s been walking real good.

9 Jan
Boycotting Olive Garden, Red Lobster and now Wendy’s: http://bit.ly/ZyYiY5 

10 Jan
Hope seems to be my Rasputin emotion. No matter how many times and ways it is assassinated, it refuses to die.

10 Jan
Mom got cocky, thinking she was going home, and decided to go to the bathroom without help. She lost her balance and “fell.” Although she insists she just “slid down the wall.” No breaks/fractures, thank God. But they want to monitor her another week or so before releasing her. She’s doing well. They took her outside and walked her up and down the block yesterday (assisted). They’re just being cautious.

11 Jan
I’m so old that when I hear the word “butter” I have to fight the urge to say, “Parkay.”

14 Jan
Dear Man on the Cycle: your clownish bicycle clothes just got stupider with the addition of the unitard.

14 Jan
The water in the birdbath froze overnight, a very rare occurrence here near the beach.

14 Jan
It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t 

mean anything.

Don’t read anything into it, don’t read anything into it, don’t read anything into it, don’t read anything into it, don’t read anything into it.

Remember: hope is the thing without feathers.

14 Jan
Funny the things that stick in your mind: I can’t read/hear “papier maché” without hearing Rowan Atkinson’s voice (from Blackadder Goes Forth) saying, “Pap-ee-yay MASH-ay willie.” (He was mocking the artistic strivings of Hugh Laurie’s upperclass twit character.) That phrase has been rattling around in my brain for years. Sad, really.

15 Jan
Wow. I just forgot my boss’s last name. I had to get up and look at his name plate. That’s rather terrifying.

15 Jan
Stop being a writer and just write.

15 Jan
Conspiracy theory and gun nuts—a terrifying, sick combination: http://yhoo.it/106HIPr 

18 Dec
So I just downloaded the few pix I had on Instagram and deleted my account. Don’t need no Facebook storm troopers in my life.

19 Dec
Mom’s back in the hospital. She needed a transfusion because she’d gotten so anemic. Things were going too well, I guess. She’s getting taken care of and has good doctors. Hopefully it’s just overnight. We’ll know more by morning. Sometimes I wonder if we’re the beneficiaries or the victims of our medical establishments. Caregiving is a rollercoaster in which you’re always braced for impact.

20 Dec
Mom had her transfusion and is doing better. Later, dialysis and another transfusion. Then hopefully back to rehab. I haven’t talked to her yet this morning, but I’ve talked to the doctor and the nurse.

Some day, if I’m really lucky, I’ll write about all this.

20 Dec
Mom has pneumonia now. Still in the hospital. She had it when she was in the ICU and they gave her antibiotics but apparently no one x-rayed her lungs again. Just dealing with the wonderful world of modern medicine and very old people. Shit happens.

21 Dec
It’s so easy to blame the devil because it’s so hard to blame ourselves.

21 Dec
Predictions of Apocalypse always have the stink of the trickster gods all over them. The trickster gods are there to keep us humble.

21 Dec
Is the day over yet?

22 Dec
Life breaks you open when you least expect it, both good and ill.

26 Dec
I’m celebrating Boxing Day by working where I managed, before 9:30 a.m., to get a plastic knife stuck in the toaster.

27 Dec
Mom out of the hospital and back at rehab on Christmas Eve where her spirits and physical well being are much improved.

27 Dec
Just bought two more tarot decks with my last gift card. Blame it on @FBodStudios whose Bunnies of the Tarot Calendar http://bit.ly/VkgT6G  inspired me. I think I have about ten decks at this point, which is ironic since I don’t have time to do readings anymore. But each deck speaks to me in a different voice and I buy them as art objects as much as anything. I also buy in anticipation of another time, a time I’m in no hurry to get to, but one I know will inevitably have its season.

27 Dec
The Santa Monica mountains were a dark, dark purple and black against the sky this morning. They wore a shawl of rose and white clouds as a backdrop. Just above a slash of brilliant blue sky and above that a bubble roof of altocumulus clouds in dark rose, white, and lavender.

1 Oct
I have bookmarks from book stores that have been out of business for twenty or thirty years. They’re raggedy and limp, but I haven’t the heart to throw away the last vestiges of places I loved.

2 Oct
I was up half the night with stomach crud. I just can’t get a break lately. I’m feeling better this afternoon, escaping the heat under the peach tree. As is often the case in SoCal we’re having our hottest summer weather in September and October. Really looking forward to real autumn.

4 Oct
The sign spinner at the corner of Admiralty and Via Marina whose specialty appears to be dropping the sign.

5 Oct
Just shifted around my retirement funds. I still can’t retire before OhGodI’mSoOld but at least it felt like progress.

5 Oct
It’s mostly on TV and in crime books that people need Big Motives to murder. In real life they murder for a pittance.

6 Oct
If it’s Ye Olde Anything Shoppe you know it’s going to be terrifyingly quaint.

7 Oct
The Simpsons do the Mayan prophecy: “The world will end in 2012 and it will be Obama’s fault.”

8 Oct
I’m trying to live my creative life not asking favors of anyone since I haven’t got time to return them, but sometimes it’s very hard.

9 Oct
I love my habits more than I love my health.

10 Oct
Just when you think you’ve learned a few things, that maybe you are a grown up after all, your Inner Five Year Old reasserts herself and makes you the fool. Hypothetically speaking, of course. I couldn’t possibly be talking about myself.

10 Oct
I asked my 91-year-old mother if she wanted to read up on the State Propositions before voting. She said, “No. I just want to go and vote for Obama.”

10 Oct
A mega-billionaire/hypocrite threatens to lay off employees if Obama is re-elected: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/ceo-workers-youll-likely-fired-131640914.html  The Koch Brothers threatened to do the same thing: http://bit.ly/PxPWMx

10 Oct
Mercy me. A printed hardcopy book from a reputable house in which passed got confused with past. The world is not what it was

11 Oct
Mom on the Ryan/Biden debate: “Who is that young putz?” Me: “Congressman Ryan.” Mom: “He’s an arrogant little s***.”

Mom on the debate: “This is a good debate. Joe Biden is kicking butt.”

12 Oct
Mom on a debate she’d like to see: “I want to see Michelle Obama debate Ann Romney. Michelle would clean the floor with her.” In case anyone wonders, my mother adores Michelle and doesn’t think much of Ann Romney.

12 Oct
Lindsay Lohan is voting for Romney. I rest my case.

12 Oct
I was home with a bad stomach, sleeping. I kept hearing helicopters circling and circling, usually an indication of a celebrity arrival at LAX or a big accident somewhere nearby. When I finally woke up out of the half haze, I realized that today was the day they started moving Endeavour from the airport.  It’s traveling right through my ‘hood, starting about six blocks from here. I was too sick to go out, but I watched it for hours on TV. So weird/weirdly exciting to see all my familiar landmarks on television. “Oh, there’s my Starbucks. There’s Mom’s doctor’s office. There’s my local Del Taco,” and etc. Here’s some of the “live feed”:

Watching Endeavour on mute now. Does anyone enjoy the endless patter?

Now I know why they laid down all those steel plates on Manchester.

The shuttle is inching past Jet Car Wash.

The shuttle is approaching Randy’s Donuts, that giant donut you see in every montage of L.A., at the corner of Manchester and the 405 freeway. Apparently, Randy’s Donuts made special Space Shuttle Donuts which they can’t sell today because the city asked them to stay closed for crowd control issues. I guess there’s always tomorrow. (And Toyota paid them for the use of their lot to film a commercial, so it’s not a total loss.)

And now the shuttle is waiting be towed across the 405 by a Toyota truck while they film a commercial. Toyota have been big contributors to the museum (millions, I hear). If my stomach wasn’t bad I might go buy one of the commemorative donuts tomorrow. But as a friend pointed out, donuts freeze really well.

13 Oct
On the way to dialysis this morning while traveling on the elevated 105 freeway I saw the shuttle’s tail and back in the distance as it moved along Manchester. No shuttle on the return drive to dialysis. It’s turned north and disappeared, alas.

I told my pharmacist that I saw the shuttle and she thought that was neat but added, “I want one of those shuttle donuts from Randy’s.” Yes, as does everyone else in L.A., apparently. I’d swung by Randy’s earlier to see about those special but the line was down the block so I kept going. Only a three and a half hour window to get my errands done before I have to pick Mom up again at dialysis. At least I’m not sick this morning.

Donut Quest 2012: Mom and I stopped by Randy’s at 2:30 on the way home. No lines, but they’d sold out of shuttle donuts until Monday. How did they sell out for tomorrow already? The bakers went home for the weekend. I’m hoping they’ll recognize they’ve got a little gold mine there and keep making them. I’ll keep trying. We now have a nice stash of non-shuttle donuts in the freezer. (You didn’t expect we’d leave empty-handed, did you?) I’m glad to report that Randy’s isn’t just a tourist attraction. They make good donuts.

14 Oct
This morning I was singing “I Kissed a Kitty and I Liked It” to Min and she was all, like, “Yuck, ick!” But she purred as she said it.

14 Oct
Today I got to clean out the pigeon coop that hadn’t been cleaned in a year. I bet you’re envious. I won’t let it go quite so long next time. A half hour shower didn’t seem long enough.

14 Oct
The hazards of sitting in the fall garden: my favorite chair was infested by a nest of baby spiders. I didn’t know I could still move that fast.

15 Oct
It’s probably a bad sign when you start writing a negative review halfway through a book. I’d never post it without finishing. Still.

11 Sep
Vegetarians sure do spend a lot of time concocting meat substitutes. That isn’t a judgment, just an ironic observation.

12 Sep
It’s amazing how much our sugar bill goes up this time of year as the hummingbirds get ready to migrate south and tank up on our feeders.

13 Sep
Editing. After all the years and the disappointments, I still hope. I don’t know if that’s my folly or my strength. Why can’t it be both? I suppose it can.

Side note: HUGE congratulations to my friend, Elizabeth Hull (darkspires), who after many years and many disappointments just sold her novel, Darkspire Reaches, to Holland House.

13 Sep
A little wild finch landed on the table next to me and looked up expecting a snack. I felt guilty. Meanwhile, the old asshole at the next table is throwing water at them.

14 Sep
You know, I don’t use ellipses enough in my…writing.

16 Sep
Day 3.5 of Crud on Earth and I’m watching UFOs Over Earth. Perfect crud-brain viewing. At least the record breaking heatwave has temporarily abated. Fans and head colds are not a happy combination.

18 Sep
Somewhere a Romney sings but not for me.

I have too many show tunes in my head. I blame it on MGM, Gene Kelly, and Donald O’Connor.

18 Sep
Now my mother has this damned cold. She’s sick as a dog. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

19 Sep
Lindsay Lohan is looking about 40 these days—and that’s in her glamour shots. What the partying life does for you.

20 Sep
The space shuttle is supposed to fly over Santa Monica pier, quite near our building at work, on its farewell tour of L.A. tomorrow. We’re hoping the west side of our building doesn’t sink as everyone rushes to that side, or the balconies don’t collapse.

20 Sep
Last Monday, the 17th, was “Respect for the Aged Day.” Which is ironic, considering at least one phone conversation I had.

21 Sep
The Endeavour fly over anticipation here at work is very high. We expect it to buzz right by the building when it passes Santa Monica Pier.

21 Sep
AWESOME! Endeavour flew by Santa Monica Pier about 1 minute ago! So close! And apparently I don’t know how to take pictures of space shuttles with a cell phone. 🙁 My work compadres are sharing their photos, though, so it’s all cool. 🙂 Some of the talented photographers here got great close ups and even a really awesome movie.

24 Sep
Rule of thumb: any 365 calendar or book that describes itself as “hilarious” probably isn’t.

26 Sep
The view of the Shuttle Endeavour from my ‘hood. I live about 5 blocks due west of here (the direction shuttle is flying).

27 Sep
It’s amazing to me how otherwise smart people think you can be infected by the same cold/virus twice. Not how the immune system works.

29 Sep
Being alone with Caregiving 101 is the worst thing. No one can help me, really.

30 Sep
My neighbor brought over a surprise belated birthday cake and champagne! It was very sweet of them. And great cake. Steve is a great baker.

1 Oct
A literal wall of fog: coming down from the Playa del Rey bluffs this morning the L.A. Basin was completely covered in fog, only the very tips of the tallest mountains in the Santa Monica range showing. Down in the basin, driving through the Marina, the trees were shadows behind rice paper walls until I came within twenty feet of them and they emerged, soft-edged. It’s supposed to burn off and bring record heat in its wake.

21 Aug
I never thought I’d be this person. Life catches you unawares. I’ve spent a week battling with unmovable insurance companies and uninterested doctors. I need a flamethrower.  Now I’ve released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. And if you know how much I hate that cliché phrase, you know that’s something. The doctor finally faxed what she was supposed to. Now we do battle with the insurance again in the a.m. Progress.

22 Aug
The main goal of medical insurance companies seems to be to exhaust you so you give up and stop bothering them.

26 Aug
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference between making excuses for not doing something and facing the reality of the situation.

31 Aug
Never disappoint an old lady. She’ll not only rave like any disappointed child, she will tell you everything you’ve done wrong since birth.

2 Sep
After using red food coloring to mix four batches of hummingbird juice for our four feeders I now possess a Red Right Hand. This time of year we get them in epic numbers. “I’ve never seen so many hummingbirds!” people are wont to say. Every bird within a mile knows where the best juice is concocted.

2 Sep
The Nag Hammer may be a blunt instrument but that just makes it effective at chipping away resistance.

4 Sep
I am letting my puppy starve. That’s the message from last night’s dreaming.  As I do not have a puppy, I think this one was a Jungian puppy.

4 Sep
The Krusty the Clown bird is out in the tree again this morning. It’s a migrating bird that’s been hanging around the feeders for the past couple of weeks. Looks like a giant mourning dove with long fan-shaped tail, but as lovely as it looks it makes the strangest call. You know that noise Krusty makes when he’s upset or caught doing something he shouldn’t? Take that sound, raise the pitch a couple of notches, and you’ve got a fair approximation of this bird’s call.

4 Sep
The Krusty the Clown bird is identified: the Eurasian Collared Dove. To listen click here then click on “3.3 harsh calls.”

4 Sep
Michelle Obama is a rock star.

6 Sep
Yesterday while listening to a John Cage tribute on NPR I stopped my car at a light.  A fountain hissed and burbled on one side, the hum of a healthy engine droned on the other, and Cage’s “prepared piano” music played in the middle. “He’s right,” I thought.  “Music is everywhere around us.”

7 Sep
“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

7 Sep
So much can’t in my vocabulary these days. But hopefully no cant.

8 Sep
Every day on the way to and from work I pass a section of land near the wetlands that has been stripped of the wild marguerites which perennially bloom there in the spring, then leave behind a wildwood tangle. Someone has done a couple of plantings here and there in the bare earth as if hoping something more acceptable will grow. These plantings have refused to spread out for some time now. One clump at first looked like white lilies as I sped by at 50 mph but I finally realized they were white morning glories. Lilies would have been appropriate. Surrounded by dirt, the patch had been planted in a bunch that resembled in shape and size the grave of a child.

Still morbid after all these years, folks.

8 Sep
There’s a million wild finches, sparrows, and the like singing their hearts out in the tree next door. Every evening at this time.

8 Sep
I have discovered something wonderful: Von’s market home delivery. Surprisingly affordable, but more important it saves me pain and exhaustion.

 2 Aug
I’ve fallen out of love. It can’t be helped. Time and distance will do that.

 3 Aug
Sometimes it is important to know when not to be a smart ass. I’ll let you know when I’ve learned that lesson.

4 Aug
If you have to hold the hem of your skirt as you walk to keep it from riding up over your ass it’s too short. Some of the men might disagree.

5 Aug
Sometimes people who yell the loudest about injustice are the ones who don’t think the rules apply to them.

6 Aug
Bought a ceramic hand jewelry stand, something I’ve wanted since I was a teenager. I realized a second later I got it mostly for that teenager.

9 Aug
Saw a crew card with “Blind Decker” posted in Venice earlier in the week. I’d swear I saw one just like it posted last year (season?).  I don’t watch the show so don’t know if he repeatedly goes blind or if it’s a continuation, but it was posted in the same exact neighborhood.

11 Aug
Dear Paul Ryan: The law of nature is kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. I guess I know which side of that law you’re on. Thems that gots.

13 Aug
There’s a world of difference between thinking up dark things to do to your characters and understanding the dark.

19 Aug
It’s tough when you Know Everything and someone comes along who knows a little more and calls your bluff.

21 Aug
I never thought I’d be this person. Life catches you unawares.

21 Aug
She considers herself a good Christian, espouses Christian values with great passion and eloquence. Yet when she gets judgmental and gossipy (which is frequent) her body gets tight and twitchy, unable to stay quiet, her voice constricted and strained, as if her spirit, her better angels, and her mind are waging a fierce struggle with each other.

18 Jul
A peregrine falcon has been hunting the bird feeder the last three days. I knew he was around because the little bitty birds don’t eat all the food in the bird feeder by the end of the day. This morning I saw him—actually walking on the ground around my car parked in the driveway. Some little critters must have scurried under to hide. I don’t begrudge the falcon doing what he has to do to survive, but I’m always glad when the little bits manage to elude him. Still, he was gorgeous. When I looked outside to call, “Mr. Peregrine, what are you doing?” he gave me such a look. “What the hell do you think I’m doing dork?” Regal falcons really know how to put you in your place. And he was a different one from last year. That one was light-headed, this guy had a dark brown head. Beautiful, beautiful creature.

16 Jul
“About 4000 Klimt drawings survive, and an indeterminate number more were clawed and peed upon by the cats that roamed his studio.”

Wait, did Klimt live at my house? Ah, the ironic fate of the artist! Who has cats.

15 Jul
Whenever I hear Morgan Freeman narrate Through the Wormhole it’s like listening to God explain the cosmos.

13 Jul
Mustard is a very persistent condiment, kind of like the Troll of the food world. Just sayin’.

12 Jul
A motorcycle cop stepped into traffic on Lincoln Blvd. hill near Jefferson, where the presidents meet. He let three tonier cars pass but flagged down the ancient Toyota covered in Bondo. Economical profiling? This didn’t strike me as a very safe way to do a traffic stop. I eyed him suspiciously as I passed to see if he was a fake cop.

12 Jul
A Ferris wheel and Tilt-a-Whirl in the middle of Windward Avenue this morning, and other carnival rides arrayed around Venice Circle.

11 Jul
I liked Crones Don’t Whine but I’ve had to stop reading it because I’ve decided to embrace my Inner Whiner. As well as my Inner Martyr, my Inner Bitter Old Hag, my Inner Depressive and my Inner Constant Complainer.

Because as Jane Wagner said, “I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”

9 Jul
My mind is on fire with a new-old idea but what can I do with it in this world of No Damned Time?

9 Jul
I should write a book about remembering the good and letting go of the bad. I’ll call it Remember This, Not That.

6 Jul
That supporting actress who was on that show that I can’t remember the name of…I ran into her twice in three days.

2 Jul
A literal rat race: two competitors chasing each other across the eaves of the porch. Rats endemic to most L.A. neighborhoods, even nice 1s.

27 Jun
There’s a research assistant here that sounds uncannily like Tobey Maguire. I want to say, “Spidey, is that you?”

25 Jun
The sleek young mother in the park with the ponytail halfway down her back bouncing her toddler on her knee while he laughed and looked.

He looked quite dapper in his navy and gray striped jumpsuit. I don’t know why I assumed he was male, I just did.

24 Jun
If a cat barfs in an out of the way place that no one will see or step on, do you still have to clean it up? A purely rhetorical question.

23 Jun
I used to have an encyclopedic memory & now it’s complete dreck. Ou sont les nieges downtown?

23 Jun
Life is what teaches you about your soul. Trying to withdraw from it only teaches you about the echo chamber inside.

10 Jun
The irony is not lost on me: my bookmark for The Yiddish Policemen’s Union is my CWA membership card.

I haven’t been union for years but am proud I once was.

9 Jun
Never meet the eye of the little old lady in the cat food aisle unless you want a half hour conversation about her poobers. 1/2

I expect to be that lady someday soon but for now I’m keeping my head down.

8 Jun
I’d sing “Hope I die before I get old” but it’s too late for that.

7 Jun
Global warming is a fact, but I sometimes think even scientists occasionally fall prey to millennialism. Millennialism is also a fact.

7 Jun
So, are “scientific” predictions of the end to be taken more seriously than loony Mayan predictions?

Jun6
The middle-aged woman at the vet’s office with so much collagen she could barely speak.

26 May

A brawny tattooed man wearing a plastic glove waiting while a tiny blond chihuahua makes up its mind about crapping on the Fire Dept lawn.

24 May

The white heron flying slow and majestic across Ballona Creek Bridge.

23 May

The eager and too-frequent “uh-huh” of someone not listening so much as wanting the talker to know she’s listening.

21 May

Bird sex going on atop the building across the way. It’s not nearly as dramatic as elephant sex.

20 Apr

For Francesca: the crow standing in the middle of the street near a tasty morsel nodding his head and cawing in satisfaction.

19 Apr

Something you don’t see every day: a man grabbing his crotch & loudly tooting a toy horn while standing in a liquor store door.

19 Apr

Well, actually, I drive through Venice every day so I see sights of a similar nature fairly regularly.

19 Apr

What distinguished this guy was that we was well dressed in khakis, a beret, and an ABT t-shirt.

19 Apr

Maybe it was a new advertising venture. I hear donations to the arts are waaaaay down.

19 Apr

Also, when he finished his horn salute he marched back into Star Liquor.