Better Than Dead

They care
but they do not care.

We are luminous lights
that attract them
and repel them,
flooding the nighttime
with our concerns,
stamping the land
with our billions of feet,
covering over
what is theirs
what we claim as ours.

Would they end us
if they could,
the otherlings, the spirits,
the beings living beside
the things of our world?

They care
but they do not care.

We burn their eyes,
we poison their lips,
we cut and chop and boil
without respect or thanks,
but we are stitched
to their sides,
and they to us,
a shrouded veil away.
We walk amongst them
as they walk amongst us.

Here
but not here,
caring
but not caring.

—PJ Thompson

I haven’t posted to this series in a while mainly because I’ve been going through a lot of stress, both in my personal life and nationally and I haven’t had the focus to do much writing. The national situation remains dire, but things look as if they may resolve personally so I ardently hope I can get back to my creative work. I wrote up this little bit of strangeness for another project and thought it a good fit for sharing here. Hopefully, I’ll be able to add to this series more going forward.

This incident took place at least 40 years ago now. (That blows my mind.) I was house and pet sitting for my parents while they were off on a road trip. I was slewping in one of the bedrooms near the front hall of the house when something woke me up. I noticed a strong glow coming from the hall so I went to investigate. This hall has a very small window right next to the front door that I almost never look out because of its smallness but I was drawn to it because the glow was coming into the house from it. When I looked out I saw a very bright big ball of light hovering over my neighbor’s house across the street, practically sitting on the roof. It was at least ten feet across, maybe more. It made absolutely no sound at all. I felt panicky because I knew it couldn’t be a helicopter. The police did do flyovers in that neighborhood with spotlights on but they never hovered right over the roof of any of the houses and of course they weren’t silent. Right in the middle of my growing panic, a voice came into my head and said, “Don’t worry about this. Just go back to bed and go back to sleep.” And I did just that!

The really weird thing is that when I woke in the morning I had no memory of this and I only know about it now because about a year later I came out of the same bedroom into that same hall, looked out that small window at my neighbor’s house—and the entire incident came back into my consciousness with this visceral punch. I felt all the things I’d felt that night and a deep puzzlement that I was able to go back to sleep and didn’t remember the next morning.

Now, of course, I realize this could have been some weird dream or hypnogogic something or other but I don’t think it was. It was just very weird, clearly something Other. I don’t know how to categorize it other than that.

I also don’t know if it’s relevant to mention that the particular neighbor whose house this happened over is bipolar and was going through a deeply chaotic time in his life at that point. Was it a manifestation of his turmoil? Was it something Other attracted to his chaos? None of the above? Who knows?

And what about that telepathic message? Those aren’t uncommon in UFO lore, nor is the “Go back to bed and remember nothing” nature of it. Carl Jung

(Flying Saucers: A Modern Myth of Things Seen in the Sky) thought they were outward manifestations of our inner conflicts and fears. Jacques Vallee, groundbreaking ufologist (Passport to Magonia), thought they were closely related to fairylore. But he still has no explanation for what they are.

I personally think the nuts-and-bolts explanation—that they are real machines from outer space—is the least likely scenario, despite what Ancient Aliens would have us believe. No, whatever they are, in some form or another they have been with us a long, long time, perhaps for as long as our minds developed that mysterious trick of consciousness: in our dreams, in our skies, under the ground, in fields and forests, just the other side of this consensus reality we occupy. They are a part of us and a part of the earth. Whatever they are or aren’t they are not here to concur us Independence Day-style. If that was the case, their “technology” is so far superior to ours they would have done so long since. They are perfectly content, I believe, to concur our minds instead, or at least reside in that mysterious junction of consciousness and “reality.” Our minds, after all, are the best, most powerful, and most efficient paranormal machines of all.

Random quote of the day:

“In a century like our own, multifariously occupied with trivialities and so highly charged with shattering possibilities, one may profitably inquire what latent quality in at least some of us stimulates, from time to time, a meticulous re-appraisal of the beliefs and performances of our forefathers. It may well be a deep-seated awareness that even matters of Fairie, being less disturbing than those of nuclear physics, tend to provide a modicum of balance and sanity in an age that has already demonstrated, pretty conclusively, its ability to obliterate itself.”

—Alasdair Alpin MacGregor, Land of the Mountain and the Flood

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Bert and Ernie, Celine Dion, or the Band of the Coldstream Guards. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Random quote of the day:

“People seem to forget that the fey are ultimately not of this world. And also, more people forget that we and our survival are actually inconsequential to most things that aren’t us.”

—Morgan Daimler, Fairies: A Guide to the Celtic Fair Folk

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Desus and Mero, Beyoncé, or the Marine Corps Marching Band. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Random quote of the day:

“Electrons…are no more real than the Sidhe—and no more metaphorical either. We cannot even say whether they are waves or particles, only that it depends on the observer…. Nowhere is empty; even the spaces in atoms are thought to be full of daimonic entities—”virtual particles” which appear out of nowhere, interact and vanish.”

—Patrick Harpur, The Philosopher’s Secret Fire

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Desus and Mero, Beyoncé, or the Marine Corps Marching Band. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Random quote of the day:

“FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly inhabited meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits, and somewhat addicted to dancing and the theft of children. The fairies are now believed by naturalists to be extinct, though a clergyman of the Church of England saw three near Colchester as lately as 1855, while passing through a park after dining with the lord of the manor. The sight greatly staggered him, and he was so affected that his account of it was incoherent. In the year 1807 a troop of fairies visited a wood near Aix and carried off the daughter of a peasant, who had been seen to enter it with a bundle of clothing. The son of a wealthy bourgeois disappeared about the same time, but afterward returned. He had seen the abduction and been in pursuit of the fairies. Justinian Gaux, a writer of the fourteenth century, avers that so great is the fairies’ power of transformation that he saw one change itself into two opposing armies and fight a battle with great slaughter, and that the next day, after it resumed its original shape and gone away, there were seven hundred bodies of the slain which the villagers had to bury. He does not say if any of the wounded recovered. In the time of Henry III, of England, a law was made which prescribed the death penalty for “Kyllynge, wowndynge, or mamynge” a fairy, and it was universally respected.”

—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Desus and Mero, Beyoncé, or the Marine Corps Marching Band. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

Random quote of the day:

“Don’t you know that everybody’s got a Fairyland of their own?”

—P. L. Travers, Mary Poppins

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Key and Peele, Celine Dion, or Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.

I’ve been doing research reading on fairies the last couple of weeks for the current WIP. I admit that watching Hellier Season 2 (now available, along with season 1, for free on YouTube and hellier.tv) has inspired me even more, although this post is only tangentially about Hellier. What I say below, certainly, can’t be applied to the Hellier experience, but I can’t help seeing parallels between Faery and aliens. I am far from the first to see these parallels. My first exposure to this idea was in Passport to Magonia by Jacques Vallee back in the 70s. Hellier moves in the same dreamlike terrain, weaving through the twilight world of UFO contactees, abductees, and experiencers, as well as many other strange and wonderful things.

In folklore, things with the fairies (a term you can take throughout this post to apply equally to aliens, goblins, and trickster characters of your choice) can be both true and untrue simultaneously. They can be the human dead, and not the human dead; of this world and not; sinister and friendly. The bodies of humans can remain where they are—in trance or dreams or a death-like state—and their souls can still be off traveling with the fae.

Which, if you think about it, adds a whole ‘nother dimension to the true/not true stories of alien contactees: both the current crop of “alien abductees,”* I believe, and the old-fashioned contactee stories of people like Woodrow Derenberger (he of Mothman/Indrid Cold fame) and George Adamski (who claimed to have flown to the Moon and other planets with Nordic aliens). When you combine that true/untrue with the notion held in folklore that fairies often favor humans who transgress human laws and play fast and loose with human truth, it brings even deeper dimension to these accounts.

However, there are two things that the fairies of folklore will not tolerate: people who lie to them, and those who tell too many of their secrets. So a mortal may find great favor with them—may even, one supposes fly with them to Lanulos or the Moon or be shown great secrets and marvels—but the second they transgress those fairy rules, they will be punished. Perhaps the golden medals they received will turn to cheap tin knock-offs; perhaps their lives will become a horrorshow of hounding by the press or (maybe even worse) true believers; perhaps every transgression or tall tale or prejudice or human fallacy will be laid bare before the public and ridiculed. Whom the fairies elevate, they can also cast down without mercy.

*ETA: I didn’t mean to imply that people reporting alien abductions are either fakers or liars. There seems to be something genuine going on there, and sincere belief on the part of most of the experiencers, but at this point it’s difficult to know precisely what’s going on except to say it’s tricksterish in nature.

This post is long and a mixed bag of things. If you’re only interesting in Hellier, you can skip everything past the picture of The Secret Commonwealth of Elves, Fauns, and Fairies.

I did a marathon watching of all ten hours of Hellier Season 2 on Friday—as after cooking two large meals that week and housecleaning, I wasn’t up for much more than viewing and eating leftovers. It’s currently available for free on Amazon Prime (as is Season 1), and in a couple of weeks will also be available for free on YouTube.

I rather wish I had watched it at a more leisurely pace because I got rather tuckered out there at the end. I’m still trying to process it (and have been rewatching it slowly for the past few days) and I might have processed it better if it had been in smaller chunks. Or maybe not.

I did manage a brief Amazon review:

Season One of Hellier was a perfect little gem of high strangeness, evoking that tumbling feel of falling into a storm of the synchronicities. That storm continues in season 2, tumbling harder and stranger. It has the authentic feel of lived experience rather than staged paranormal TV. We ride along with the participants, feeling their puzzlement and insecurities, their disbelief and belief, and watching as things shift and shift again. If you are looking for pat answers and highly manipulated content, this may not be the series for you. But if you have realized that asking questions is the most important thing, Hellier will give you that thrill of late-night discussions with friends trying to figure out the mysteries of the Universe.

My head’s so full of Major Stuff that I can’t talk about because, spoilers. I may post again in a couple of weeks after people have had a chance to watch. For now, I’ll just say that at the end of episode 9 I used some sweetgrass oil, just in case, and drew a protective sigil on my TV screen before watching episode 10. Also, as soon as those damned tones started I got nauseated. You’ll know the tones I mean if you watch it. The same thing happened with a recent “Haunted Salem Live” sigil experiment done by Greg and Dana Newkirk. So. Mass initiation or suggestibility? I’m still not sure. And that’s in the true spirit of Hellier, I think. Questions are more important than answers.

There are very mild spoilers in the following. Skip to *** if you don’t want even that.

I will say this, and with all due respect to Tyler Strand, I do believe the carving he saw on the tree was not a green man but Odin. Which suggests an entirely different focus of worship in North Carolina than in…that other place. And does nothing, of course, to negate the strangeness he experienced. And speaking as a geezer, if some odd young man showed up at my door going on about strange things in the woods, I might also have called the police. It doesn’t mean abominable practices were going on there, just that whatever or Whoever they worship, they probably figured it was none of his gods damned business.

***Okay, it’s safe now.

After viewing Hellier 2 there were many books I wanted to read and reread. I already had, and had already read, many of the ones they recommend: Passport to Magonia by Jacques Vallee, The Trickster and the Paranormal by George P. Hansen, Daimonic Reality by Patrick Harpur, The Secret Commonwealth of Elves, Fauns, and Fairies by the Reverend Robert Kirk (written in the 17th c. and widely referred to in paranormal circles), and others. I thought it might be time to reread Kirk again, since it’s really just a tract, not a long book, and it fit in with some of the research I’ve been doing lately for my current novel. Somewhere in this house I have a 1991 reprint of Kirk edited by RJ Stewart but of course I couldn’t find it. I once had a very neat filing system for my books, but that was before the chaos of the last house move and the caregiving years that followed, alas.

I notice that you can even buy this Andrew Lang edition as a Kindle book now. I love living in the digital age. But since I spent beaucoup $ in the 70s xeroxing this at the UCLA Research Library, I don’t think I’ll spend anymore money on it. I’d forgotten that I’d filled it up with pink highlighter. It was interesting to see that I didn’t find all those passages relevant anymore, although some overlapped.

Back in the ancient days when I was a student at UCLA, they had two original copies of The Secret Commonwealth, the original 1815 imprint from his 17th c. manuscript, and the 1893 Andrew Lang one, in the open stacks of the Research Library—a holdover from the days when Thelma Moss ran a paranormal research program there. Research libraries were the only places you could find these back then.

I’ve thought about those books since and wondered if anyone had the sense to put them in the restricted access area of the library or if, Rev. Kirk-like, they have subsequently been kidnapped by the fairies. Or other beings of more malicious intent. Somebody I know may have mentioned their rarity to one of the librarians, who didn’t seem that interested. Probably thought that someone a pedantic busybody or just another arsehole student trying to tell her what to do. I appreciated having easy access to them, but also know it’s a very sharp 2-edged sword: not even the Library of Congress can protect against theft, individuals deciding their wants are more important than access to that cultural heritage for the rest of us.

Ah well.

Below are some notes and quoted passages from the current reread. Some are relevant to Hellier 2, some relevant to my current research, but I thought someone might find them interesting.

• The Rev. Kirk says that females rarely have the second sight. That’s a 17th century male elite conceit, I believe. If women spoke of having second sight back in that day they would likely be burned.

Random quote of the day:

“Do not believe, though, that fairy tales lie. He who tells them lies—but as soon as it is told, the fairy miracle slowly floats up into the air and goes off to live its life, real, truer than the insolence of everyday.”

—Albert Camus, “Melusina’s Book,” (tr. Ellen Conroy Kennedy)

 

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this random quote of the day do not necessarily reflect the views of the poster, her immediate family, Lucy and Ethel, Justin Bieber, or the Kardashian Klan. They do, however, sometimes reflect the views of the Cottingley Fairies.